We have fully entered Toddlerland. Can anyone lend me a map? We have NO idea what we are doing, and it is tough. I think ever since Adelaide has been born, every couple months I say "This is my favorite stage so far." or "She is so much fun right now." Well, Adelaide IS so much fun right now. She is sweet and hilarious and is learning so much and fun to play with and i love hearing her talk... oh, and she gives the BEST hugs with a little squeeze that we just love. But she is difficult and sometimes mean and can throw some wild tantrums and I don't like hearing "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" or standoffs at the dinner table over vegetables, and I definitely don't like it when she hits me. As much as I enjoy her ALMOST all the time, the last 48 hours have not been my favorite stage.
Adelaide looked super cute at church today (I mean, let's be serious, she looks cute every day). But I haven't taken many pictures of her lately. My parents were in town last weekend, though, and my mom caught this picture of her in one of her super sweet moments with my dad and their new dog Kofi.
This moment only lasted about 30 seconds, but that is about her max snuggle time for Jason or I too, so it was a pretty big deal.
Well, I guess all I can do is pray for grace. Grace not to discipline out of anger, and lots of extra grace filling my heart to extend to Adelaide like God has extended to me. I'm praying that I'll be reminded that God is continuously sanctifying us through this, that he is drawing Adelaide to Himself, and that through our discipline of her we can help her know Him better, and not scar her for life.
But also if you have any amazing tips on how to navigate Toddlerland, we'll take whatever I can get.
7 comments:
Did I write this post? Or did you have a camera in OUR house? I'm with you. Every night I pray with Steven for more grace and patience with Sarah! Love that girl to death though.
i am clearly no expert (spend a day in our house and you will see that!) but at tripp's three year appt i had a great discussion with our pediatrician about discipline. he is a believer, and believes, like i do, that spanking is ok in moderation. he said the more you do it, the less effective it is and the more you are running your house like the military. he recommended saving it for those big infractions. great i said, but what i do about the everyday issues? so he recommended a book called 1,2,3 Magic. I really like it and so far it has worked for us. the other one that i have read recently is called "the whole brain child" and it just a very interesting explanation of what goes on in kids' brains and how to respond accordingly. so i know it gets annoying to hear everyone's opinions all the time and it always seems like people's opinions contradict each other, but at least i thought i would share our strategy, so you can take it or leave it!!
Linds - Adelaide reminds me so much of Laine at that age - hope that doesn't scare you! If there is anything I would do over again it would be to try and relax a little more. It's so hard with your first b/c everything is brand new and you don't want to mess up your child. But God has made them amazingly resilient - they will learn from your mistakes and despite your mistakes. Try to say "yes" as much as possible!
Practically, after many food battles we settled on asking Laine (all the kids) to take one bite of what we served for dinner - one bite of veggies, one bite of meat. Then they could go to bed hungry. They won't starve themselves. They can eat a big breakfast and kid-friendly lunch if need be. But dinner is the same food for everyone.
I could go on - we'll have to chat sometime if you want. Take care!
i am the last person to give advice! but i SO feel for you. it is so hard! i feel like a total screw-up every single day. my only advice is pray for a soft heart for her and for yourself. and yes, strive to show grace, which is so very hard to do. and if you feel like you totally mess up just read my blog and see how bad i mess up and you will feel so much better. you can say "at least i didn't yell or sit on my daughter or try to take her to church naked like danielle did!" :)
cool I'll let you figure all this out and then give me advice in a few months :) thanks. Oh you're right--she is always cute
ooohhhh girl, hold on to your knickers! when things begin to take a turn for the worst in our home (like every other minute or so) i try to evaluate two things, "what needs aren't being met in my child?" or "what needs are not being met within my own soul?" battles seem to ignite faster when one of the kids has not had any QT with me or mark. or, i explode over silly things when i have not had enough Jesus, or enough "get me the heck away from these kids" time! 3 months after julia was born i had a TOTAL MELT DOWN! (shocking, i know!) i was sleep deprived and overwhelmed with all the life that was being sucked out of me. it was at this point we hired someone to come into the house once a week for like 3 hours. so that i could sleep, cry alone in the bathroom, sit in an empty parking lot and cuss at the steering wheel, or gab on the phone. it was the best money EVER spent!! til this day, although our stage is much different.. when i feel like i am losing it, when day in and day out i can't get on top of the attitudes, i call in reinforcements on every level. a few hours away is so helpful in resetting everyone's mind set. don't give up. be faithful in the little things. remember, you ARE the Mama! and a piece of advice mark continually repeats, "they don't have many memories before the age of 4" loves!
Another book recommended is "making your child mind without losing yous" just throwing that one out there for you!
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