Update

I feel like this should be accompanied by a picture, but we just haven't taken one lately. I am now 14 weeks along... and starting to show. You know, that weird phase where none of your normal clothes fit like they should, but you still look completely ridiculous in maternity clothes. Yeah, that's where I am. Not completely over the sickness yet, but I'm getting better.  At least now I'm not puking EVERY day.  Our baby is apparently the size of a lemon (for those of you Liz Rutters who wanted a visual), or about 3-4 inches crown to rump. My doctor said that my next appointment (April 14) will just be a check up... weight, blood pressure... whatever else they do at check ups. I'm not sure when exactly we get to find out the sex, but I'm pretty sure it's just at 20 weeks. So we still have a little bit of a wait.

With the sickness and being so tired, it's been hard to think about what it will actually be like having a baby (mostly right now I think about sleeping and not throwing up). It seems really weird to me still. Like, I still feel so young, and I feel like I don't even have the capacity to love a baby like it deserves to be loved. Geez, I can't even love my husband like he deserves to be loved. How in the world am I going to selflessly take care of a BABY?? And not just A baby... OUR baby.  It blows my mind and makes me scared. That's why I'm thankful that when I am weak, He is strong.  My God already loves this baby more perfectly and unconditionally than I ever can. Therefore I can trust that he will also give me the strength and the love that I need to show our baby as well.  I cannot love him/her perfectly, but Christ can, so I will just let Him be my strength.